Why most New Years Resolutions don’t work

By Richard Elmes, The Sales Dating Guy

Many of us who are looking forward to the future have made New Years resolutions.

You know those grand plans that we come up with, that if we follow through, will make our life more fulfilling. Unfortunately, they are also those plans that are usually forgotten by the 3rd week of January. If you don’t believe this just check the classifieds in February for used exercise equipment.

Common resolutions like “Quit Smoking, Lose Weight or Save money,” may sound great, but they aren’t very successful. Using the following 7 steps will help you design more powerful New Years resolutions.

 1. Develop S.M.A.R.T. Resolutions

Specific:  You must specifically and clearly identify your target. The more details you give, the more likely you are to get excited about your resolutions and develop the passion that it takes to focus and to follow through on them. You need to know what success looks like.

Measurable: Effective Resolutions need clear destinations as well as checkpoints along the way. These checkpoints are the mini-goals or stepping stones that are easily attained and provide victories along the way to keep you motivated.

Attainable:  Your purpose for designing resolutions is to solve a problem or to achieve a dream. They should stretch you out of your comfort zones, but if you make resolutions that are completely out of reach, you are only setting yourself up for failure.

Require Immediate Action:   The purpose of making resolutions is to get you moving toward your dreams. If you don’t take the first step within 72 hours chances are you never will.

Timely: You need to have short term goals that allow you to measure whether you are on track or if you need to pick it up a notch.        

2. Identify what’s in it for you: If you are going to follow through with your resolution you need to be excited about the benefits it will bring you. Visualizing yourself fitting into those jeans that “shrunk” or driving that new car are powerful motivators.

3. List the obstacles that stand in your way: Knowing what the obstacles are can help you determine how to get around them.

 4. Consider who can help you: You need to carefully identify friends whom you can trust to share your goals with and who can check your progress and encourage you. These people enable you to maintain your focus and keep your eyes on the goal itself.

5. Consider what resources are needed: Knowing what tools and knowledge you need to help you accomplish your goal will increase your chances of success.

6. Develop an Action Plan: There is something so powerful about putting your resolutions down on paper, but this is the step where most people fail.      I think Denver Broncos football coach Mike Shanahan but it best when he said, “If you have a plan, and if you have your direction laid out. You can chart your progress to your dreams at each stopping point along the way. And just as important, all along the way you can see how far you’ve come”. Developing your action plan will give you the road map to your dreams.

 7. Set a deadline for achievement: Resolutions without deadlines are only dreams. Deadlines are another powerful  motivator. Also when you are setting deadlines add the phrase “on or before” ie. “I will weigh 190 lbs. on or before July 1, 2010”

 So this year make those New Years Resolutions stick, and reap the benefits.

Because the best way to predict your future, is for you to create it yourself.

Motivational Quote: World Series Champions

“The willingness to be unselfish and play the game the right way… that is why we are champions.”  – Joe Girardi, Manager of the World Champion New York Yankees

New York Yankees 2009 World Series Champs

2009 World Series Champion New York Yankees

The Upside to Dating a Salesman

The following blog post written by Dating Goddess http://www.datinggoddess.com/ on June 24, 2009  talks about why she loves dating men with a sales background.

Does he know how to close? by Dating Goddess  June 24, 2009

I love dating men with a sales background.

Why?

Because they know how to close. How to ask for the order. How to pursue. How to keep clients happy.

“Close” in dating means to ask for your email address, phone number or date. I’ve found a lot of men don’t know how to advance the relationship. Some are way too timid, taking weeks to ask for my number. Some are way too forward, asking for my number after one email exchange.

I understand many men don’t like to exchange a lot of emails. They are either poor typists or poor spellers and feel it takes too long time to say what would take seconds on the phone. But I like to have a few email exchanges to get a sense of a man’s ability to communicate clearly in writing and that he doesn’t get sexual too soon.

Some men seem happy to have a pen pal relationship, stretching the emails out over weeks. This gets wearisome, too. Some men think it gentlemanly to wait until the woman is comfortable enough to offer her number. Other men offer theirs first, knowing some women are not comfortable giving out her number. I prefer a man call me as it shows he has enough interest to pick up the phone. Giving me his number puts the onus on me.

Some women have no problem assertively asking, “When shall we get together?” I don’t like to ask that as I feel a man needs to be assertive enough to ask for the “order” — a date. I don’t want to be the one initiating, at least not at first. I don’t mind initiating once we’ve gone out a few times.

In writing my book on sales, I discovered a common complaint from customers was salespeople who never asked for the order. Salespeople could have an hour-long meeting with the prospect uncovering their needs and constraints, then just thank the prospect at the end, without ever asking for the order. The prospect didn’t feel it was their job to say, “It sounds like you have exactly what I need. How can I order?” They wanted the salesperson to ask for the business.

This is true in dating. If a woman has to prod a man to “ask for the order,” he’s probably not that interested or confident enough.

Salesmen also understand that if they want to secure the “account” (you) they have to make some effort to earn the “business” (your affection). They know they can’t ignore a customer and expect to be received with open arms when they next connect. The customer may have found another supplier (man) to give them what they want. Good salesmen know if you want to keep a customer, you have to give them some attention.

These are basics that every salesperson knows. It would seem common sense, but to those outside of sales it doesn’t appear to be common knowledge — or at least common practice.

The downside of dating salesmen is sometimes they are focused on putting up the numbers — closing the initial deal. If they are used to one-time sales, not ongoing orders, they don’t fully understand the importance of “customer maintenance” — keeping you engaged beyond the initial conquest.

______________

Another example of how Dating strategies and Sales strategies mirror each other.

How to move your Career and Life in the right direction

“Be better than you were yesterday, but not as good as you will be tomorrow.” – Richard Elmes

How do you accomplish this?

By continuously learning and looking for opportunities to improve your performance.

It doesn’t matter if it is improving your performance in business or your personal life, when you continously try to improve even a little bit each day, you will find that you will make great strides over time.

For example, I have read over 110 books a year for the past 11 years. I have accomplished this task by investing a lot of 5 minute segments every day in my development. I also try to improve my business and personal relationships everyday, by asking questions and listening to what the other person is telling me. (and not telling me). This way I move the relationship forward one step at a time.

And this way I ensure that I am continuously improving and being better tomorrow than I am today.

So, what can you do today to make sure that you will be better tomorrow than you are today?

How to make your New Years Resolutions stick

Many of us who are looking forward to the future have made New Years resolutions.

You know those grand plans that we come up with, that if we follow-through, will make our life more fulfilling. Unfortunately, they are also the same plans that are usually forgotten by the 3rd week of January. If you don’t believe this just check the classifieds in February for used exercise equipment.

 

Common resolutions like “Quit Smoking, Lose Weight or Save Money,” may sound great, but they aren’t very successful. Using the following 7 steps will help you design more powerful New Years resolutions.

 

1. Develop S.M.A.R.T. Resolutions

Specific: You must specifically and clearly identify your target because you need to know what success looks like.

Measurable: Clear destinations and checkpoints along the way provide stepping-stones,  that are easily attained and provide victories that keep you motivated.

Action Oriented: Effective resolutions require action, they are doing resolutions, not being or having resolutions.

Realistic: You design resolutions to solve a problem or to achieve a dream. They should stretch you outside of your comfort zones, but if you make them completely out of reach, you are only setting yourself up for failure.

Timely: They need to be important to you at this time in your life, if it is not, you will not do the work necessary to succeed.   

 

2. Identify what’s in it for you: If you are going to follow through with your resolution you need to be excited about the benefits it will bring. Visualizing yourself fitting into those jeans that “shrunk” or driving that new car are powerful motivators.

 

3. List the obstacles that stand in your way: Knowing what the obstacles are can help you determine how to get around them.

 

 4. Consider who can help you: You need to carefully identify friends whom you can trust to share your goals with and who can check your progress and encourage you. These people enable you to maintain your focus and keep your eyes on the goal itself.

 

5. Consider what resources are needed: Knowing what tools and knowledge you’ll need to help you accomplish your goal will increase your chances of success.

 

6. Develop an Action Plan: There is something so powerful about putting your resolutions down on paper, but this is the step where most people fail. I think Denver Broncos football coach Mike Shanahan put it best when he said, “If you have a plan, and if you have your direction laid out. You can chart your progress to your dreams at each stopping point along the way. And just as important, all along the way you can see how far you’ve come”. Developing your action plan will give you the road map to your dreams.

 

     7. Set a deadline for achievement: Resolutions without deadlines are only dreams. Deadlines are another powerful motivator. Also when you are setting deadlines add the phrase “on or before” ie. “I will acquire 20 new clients on or before July 1, 2009”

 

So this year make those New Years Resolutions stick, and reap the benefits. Because the best way to predict your future, is to create it yourself.