May 12, 1925 – September 22, 2015
Looking for ethical ways to tip the scales in your favor. Whether you are selling a product, presenting an idea, or asking for a date, these six principles can help. It is definitely worth watching.
This animated video describes the six universal Principles of Persuasion that have been scientifically proven to make you most effective based on the research in Dr. Cialdini’s groundbreaking book, Influence. This video is narrated by Dr. Robert Cialdini and Steve Martin, CMCT.
If your wedding was like most, the husbands in attendance will have approximately 300-400 years of marital experience.
300-400 years of wisdom.
300-400 years of making mistakes.
And if you are as smart as I think you are (because if you weren’t you wouldn’t be reading this post), you’ll learn from these experienced veterans because they can provide not only advice, but also a list of all their mistakes. Actually, you will need to get the list of mistakes from their wives.
Anyway, armed with this knowledge, you can avoid making those some mistakes and be free to go out and make your own.
My point is this: Effective husbands seek out mentors.
They look for men they can trust, whose marriages they admire and they learn from them.
In short, don’t try to figure it all out for yourself. Use Habit #11 and Talk to the Old Man.
Check back next time when we cover the 12th and last (for now) Habit. The Habit that is the key to making your marriage work.
Yes, you read the title right, Apologize.
Though at first I didn’t believe it myself, I quickly realized that in an effective marriage, it’s the husband who apologizes.
First off, if you do something wrong, you need to own up to it and apologize.
Second, I learned that a wife is never wrong. And if she is… it’s just a misunderstanding.
And that misunderstanding must be the husband’s fault. So you need to apologize.
And don’t do what my Father-in-Law did and try to wait for your wife to apologize. I learned this when he showed me a plaque in his den that states, “On this day, November 27th, 1972, the man of the household won an argument.”
But what it doesn’t say was that the argument started in March… 1969.
He knew that he was marrying Miss Right… he just didn’t realize that her first name was Always.
And you don’t want to wait too long to apologize either because there is a direct connection between how long you take to apologize and how long she remembers the misunderstanding.
So ask yourself, would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?
And practice Habit #9 and Apologize.
Check back next time when you will discover how to avoid having an act of kindness blow up in your face. We will discover how to avoid this in Habit #10.
Before I tell you what “The Pause” is, I need to let you know a little bit about my wife. She is a type-A person who is always on the move. In fact I believe she only has two speeds… high and off.
And though she’s very smart, she sometimes doesn’t realize just how smart she truly is. And that is one of the reasons why I use, “The Pause”.
Because sometimes she’ll be upstairs, when I’m downstairs and she’ll call down to me and ask, “Rich, do you know where _________ is?”
“Never mind… I found it.”
Trust me… practicing this Habit will not only save you a ton of energy, but she won’t miss out on the satisfaction of finding what she was looking for herself.
But the trick is to make sure you don’t wait too long, because if she has to ask again… you’re screwed.
So remember to use Habit #8 “The Pause”… Wisely.
(Note “The Pause” is used in a different way than the Power of the Pause, that I learned at Toastmasters http://www.toastmasters.org, which will be subject for another blog post)
Check back next time when we will talk about one of the most critical, but under utilized tools that guys can use to keep their relationships (and sex lives) running smoothly.
Also, if you know of any husbands (or couples) that would benefit from reading these blogs feel free to send them the link to this blog https://relmes.wordpress.com
One of the things you need to know about your wife is that she is going to worry.
How do I know? All wives worry!
They worry about many different things… work, finances, and especially their families.
One of the ways an effective husband can relieve some of this stress is by managing his wife’s expectations on a daily basis.
You see, we all make judgements based on the information that is before us. And if we don’t have all of the information, our imaginations have a habit of making up the rest.
For example, say your job took a little longer to complete than you thought or maybe you ran into construction on the highway, and you find yourself running a little late.
As a guy, you may not think anything of it.
Annoying, yes… but really no big deal.
Meanwhile, at home, your wife may be totally freaking out.
All she knows is that she expected you home 45 minutes ago, you’re not there, dinner’s ready, and she doesn’t know what happened to you. For all she knows, you’re half-dead in a ditch somewhere.
Sure, you can wait until she calls to see if you’re all right. But do you really want her feeling foolish for making that call? Especially when it can easily be avoided?
All you have to do is be pro-active… call her first and tell her you’re going to be late. This way you manage her expectation, eliminate all of that stress, and avoid a cold dinner.
So, remember Habit #7 and Manage Her Expectations… daily
O.K. we have covered the 7 Habits, but remember I said there were 7+ Habits. In fact there are 12 Habits in all. So check back next time to check out a way that will save you a lot of effort. I will cover that in Habit #8.