The 7+ Habits of Highly Effective Husbands – Habit #12: Cherish Every Moment

Effective husbands cherish every moment of their marriage.

Not just the good times (that’s the easy part), but the challenging times as well.

And I know that it won’t seem like it at the time, but those challenging times are really a gift.

They’re a gift because those times are what will mold you into the best husband you can be. Those times are what will move you closer as a couple. And those times are what will provide the wisdom that you can then pass down to future generations.

And how do you get through those rough times?

You laugh!!! You play!!! You hold on!!!

And before you know it, life will be better than ever.

You know that you have picked a wonderful girl. And if you use these strategies that I shared with you in this series of blog posts, she will know that you are a wonderful and effective husband.

So, on that note I believe it is fitting to end this blog series on The 7+ Habits of Highly Effective Husbands with a toast.

To Love, to laughter and a happy ever after.

Also, if you have read one or all twelve of these tips and found them useful, and know of anyone else who might enjoy this series of blog posts,  feel free to send them an email with a link to this blog. That way they can also benefit from this information.

How to make your New Years Resolutions stick

Many of us who are looking forward to the future have made New Years resolutions.

You know those grand plans that we come up with, that if we follow-through, will make our life more fulfilling. Unfortunately, they are also the same plans that are usually forgotten by the 3rd week of January. If you don’t believe this just check the classifieds in February for used exercise equipment.

 

Common resolutions like “Quit Smoking, Lose Weight or Save Money,” may sound great, but they aren’t very successful. Using the following 7 steps will help you design more powerful New Years resolutions.

 

1. Develop S.M.A.R.T. Resolutions

Specific: You must specifically and clearly identify your target because you need to know what success looks like.

Measurable: Clear destinations and checkpoints along the way provide stepping-stones,  that are easily attained and provide victories that keep you motivated.

Action Oriented: Effective resolutions require action, they are doing resolutions, not being or having resolutions.

Realistic: You design resolutions to solve a problem or to achieve a dream. They should stretch you outside of your comfort zones, but if you make them completely out of reach, you are only setting yourself up for failure.

Timely: They need to be important to you at this time in your life, if it is not, you will not do the work necessary to succeed.   

 

2. Identify what’s in it for you: If you are going to follow through with your resolution you need to be excited about the benefits it will bring. Visualizing yourself fitting into those jeans that “shrunk” or driving that new car are powerful motivators.

 

3. List the obstacles that stand in your way: Knowing what the obstacles are can help you determine how to get around them.

 

 4. Consider who can help you: You need to carefully identify friends whom you can trust to share your goals with and who can check your progress and encourage you. These people enable you to maintain your focus and keep your eyes on the goal itself.

 

5. Consider what resources are needed: Knowing what tools and knowledge you’ll need to help you accomplish your goal will increase your chances of success.

 

6. Develop an Action Plan: There is something so powerful about putting your resolutions down on paper, but this is the step where most people fail. I think Denver Broncos football coach Mike Shanahan put it best when he said, “If you have a plan, and if you have your direction laid out. You can chart your progress to your dreams at each stopping point along the way. And just as important, all along the way you can see how far you’ve come”. Developing your action plan will give you the road map to your dreams.

 

     7. Set a deadline for achievement: Resolutions without deadlines are only dreams. Deadlines are another powerful motivator. Also when you are setting deadlines add the phrase “on or before” ie. “I will acquire 20 new clients on or before July 1, 2009”

 

So this year make those New Years Resolutions stick, and reap the benefits. Because the best way to predict your future, is to create it yourself.

How to create Powerful Introductions

I asked him, “So what do you do?” and he replied, “I sell insurance.”

How boring!! In a previous post (you can check it out here https://relmes.wordpress.com/2008/03/06/how-to-become-more-effective-at-networking-events-part-9/ ) I wrote about how to develop your audio-business card and why doing so in a way that differentiates you from your competition can positively impact how you are perceived.

Remember, “Your customer’s perception is your reality.”

I am currently reading an excellent book titled: Becoming Preferred – How to Outsell your Competition by Michael Vickers. http://www.michaelvickers.com/ 

Here is what her wrote (I love, this section) about Creating your Introduction.

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Your Introduction

The most important thing you can do in formulating a powerful introduction is to first define the benefits of what you do rather than simply describing what you do. For example, let us say that I sell insurance. You meet me at a local watering hole and during the course of our conversation you ask me what I do for a living. I reply,

“I sell insurance.”

Do you need any more information?

Do you feel like introducing me to all of your friends?

Do you get an overwhelming urge to invite me home for dinner and develop a relationship with me?

I don’t think so. Let’s face it, there is nothing wrong with selling insurance, it is just that you have been there and done that! Saying you sell insurance does not create excitement not does it create interest.

A number of years ago i was in a golf tournament. During the course of the tournament I struck up a conversation with a professional looking gentleman whom I had not met before.

The initial conversation was polite and then I asked him what he did for a living. He replied,

“I am a golf fund specialist”

That caught my curiousity and I replied, “What do you mean a golf fund specialist?” “Well, ” he said, “I help executives enjoy the game of Golf today and well into their retirement.” “How do you do that?” I asked, He then stated, “I would love to show your how I do it. If you give me your business card I will be happy to give you a call and perhaps we can continue this conversation over coffee.”

Am I interested in meeting with this person? Absolutely.

Guess what he does for a living?

He sells insurance!

The products he sells are financial products, but the benefit of what he sells is financial security. His marketing target is the business professional who golfs.

The market has thousands of insurance agents and financial planners, but how many “golf fund specialists” do you know?

“It is not what you do that counts, but the benefit of what you do.” – Michael Vickers

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Now that is what I call a sexy introduction!!!

How to keep your career in the fast lane? Enlist your pit crew

One thing that I discovered about all the successful people that I have met is that they didn’t achieve great things alone.

My mom likes watching NASCAR racing on TV. Her favourite driver is Jeff Gordon. http://www.jeffgordon.com

Jeff (or Jeffy as she calls him) has proven to be one of the all stars on the Stock Car Circuit. But even if Jeff Gordon was at the top of his game and his car was the fastest on the track during the race, he may still not win. Because when Jeff pulls into the pits to fill up with fuel and change tires, if one of his pit crew forgets to put on a tire, he is going nowhere.

Life is like that as well. It is a team sport and you need other people to help you if you are going to succeed.

These people are part of your pit crew and they can provide you with many things including:

Information / Advice: Others may have information that could be critical to your success. They have experiences that may help you avoid many hardships. Listening to them is a good start and it can help you avoid many mistakes in the future.

Encouragement / Emotional Support: There will be days when you need a pick-me-up. Some timely encouragement or words of wisdom can get you through the rough times.This is when you need a cheerleader in your pit crew. Someone who believes in you and believes in what you are trying to accomplish.

Accountability: Having someone hold you accountable for your actions, making sure you do what you say you are going to do will bring amazing results. Because now you are not only letting yourself down, but your accountability partner as well. And you will find that sometimes it is less painful to just do what you promised to do, rather than trying to explain to your partner whay you didn’t do it.

These are the three things that I bring to the table for my coaching clients. But you don’t have to hire a personal success coach in order to move forward. Perhaps family or friends can fill this role. Sometimes different roles will be filled by different people. Either way the results will be a synergy that will allow you to stay focued on your dream and ge there faster than you could ever on your own.

“You can reach greater heights as a team, than you can individually.” -Richard Elmes

 

 

How to win with class (Lessons learned from the Stanley Cup winning Detroit Red Wings)

Last night the Detroit Red Wings won the Stanley Cup for the 4th time in 11 years, as they defeated Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburgh Penguins 3-2 to win the Cup in 6 games (4-2).

After watching the television coverage of the celebration, 3 things stood out.

These 3 things are great examples of winning with class.

1. Shake hands: After battling so hard with the Penguins all series, both teams met at centre ice in order to shake hands and congratulate each other, not only on a hard fought series, but on having a successful season (Remember even Pittsburgh beat out 28 other teams to make it to the finals).

2. Celebrate: Taking the time to celebrate their victory is a critical part of what makes those moments sweet. Almost every kid who ever played hockey has dreamed of lifting up Lord Stanley’s Cup. And it would be a shame if they skipped that part of the dream, in order to chase their next dream. Unfortunately, people in business tend to do just that. They fail to take the time to celebrate their victories in order to persue their next goal.

Have you ever been guilty of doing this? If so, next time you make that big sale or wow them in your next presentation, stop and savour the victory. You will be glad you did. And it will help keep you motivated when you move on to that next goal.

3. Share the Glory: Almost every player who was interviewed took the time to thank those who helped them get there. Whether it was their parents who drove them to the rink, their minor hockey coach who taught them the skills or their wife, kids and friends for sticking with them during the journey.

Not one player got up and said that they did it all themself. The reason for this is simple. We need others to help us succeed and it is only appropriate to thank those who encouraged and supported them in their life and career.

And the same is true in our careers. So I encourage you to send a little note to someone who has helped you in your career. Not only will you feel good about sharing the glory, but it will make their day and allow them to feel like a winner as well.

So, congratulation to the Detroit Red Wings, 2007-2008 Stanley Cup Champions, you deserve it. And thanks for the great lessons on how to win with class.