Confidence Boost

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“Don’t underestimate the positive impact you can have on someone’s life when you help boost their confidence.” – Richard Elmes

Former Blue Jay has a perfect day

Every little league pitcher dreams of this kind of day.

Every minor league pitcher dreams of this kind of day.

And every major league pitcher dreams of this kind of day.

But only 20 pitchers in history have had this kind of … perfect day.

Yesterday, Philadelphia Phillies (and former Blue Jays) ace pitcher  Roy “Doc” Halladay had a perfect day.

The former Cy Young award winner won the game 1-0 by not allowing even one of the Florida Marlins hitters to reach base.  27 batters, 27 straight outs.

But do you really think that this is the first time Roy has done this?

I would bet that he has dreamed this type of perfect game many times.

I would bet that in his game preperation he visualizes getting every batter out.

And I would bet that this was a key to his success, not only last night, but throughout his career.

Because when you practice in your mind you are making mental tracks for your body to follow.

And since you are making mental tracks, you may as well make those tracks the best you can possibly make them.

Someone once said that practice makes perfect. But that isn’t true. It is perfect practice that makes perfection.

So what do you want to achieve? And are you mentally practicing a perfect outcome. If not, why not.

Congratulations Roy on your perfect game and thanks for the lessons that can help us achieve success in our future.

The Ultimate Leadership Opportunity – The Rest of the Story

In my last post, https://relmes.wordpress.com/2009/09/14/the-ultimate-leadership-opportunity/ I started telling you about an awesome leadership opportunity that a friend of mine just received.

And by now you are probably thinking, “Just tell me what it is already.”

Well this excellent position that my friend is embarking in is the position as a father.

And if you think about it fatherhood (and motherhood) is he ultimate leadership opportunity.

It gives you the opportunity to flex your leadership muscles.

It gives you the opportunity to influence your child, who will help shape the future.

And it gives you the opportunity through your child to leave a legacy and make your mark in the world.

What an awesome opportunity.

What an awesome responsibility.

What an awesome job that he will have for the rest of his life.

Good Luck my friend, I am confident that you will be a fantastic Dad!!!

The Ultimate Leadership Opportunity

Looking for the ultimate opportunity to flex your leadership muscles?

Looking for the ultimate opportunity to influence and shape the future?

Looking for the ultimate opportunity to make your mark on the world?

If you answered yes to any one of these questions then read on.

Yesterday a friend of mine received his dream job.

The  job that he will have until the day he dies.

The job that will give him the opportunity as Tony Robbins http://www.tonyrobbins.com might say to make an impact on the world.

So you may be asking, “What is this awesome job he received?”

I will tell you in my next blog post.

The 7+ Habits of Highly Effective Husbands – Habit#1- Create Your Vision… Together

Yogi Berra once said, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you might not get there.”

The same is true in marriage. If you don’t have a clear picture of what you want to get out of your relationship, you may be disappointed by how it turns out.

Because all things are created twice.
First in the mind of the creator… then in real life.

And notice that I said create your vision …together. If you plan your life vision together, you’ll both tend to stay on the same page as you go.

So if you haven’t done this yet, here is my suggestion.
Grab your laptop or some paper, find a quiet place, sit down together and dream.

Imagine that you’re about to celebrate your 25th Wedding Anniversary and talk about all the wonderful things that have happened in your life over the past 25 years. Talk about them as if they have already happened.

Perhaps you can talk about the beautiful home you built.
Or how your wise investments have left you financially secure.
Or perhaps you can talk about how little Johnny or Joanie won the Stanley Cup.

My point is this: the best way to predict your future is to create it yourself.

So, remember Habit #1 and Create Your Vision… Together.

Also, if you stumbled onto this blog and you know of a anyone who is getting married or has been married in the past few years, why don’t you send them an email, including the link to this blog. You will both be glad that you did.

Check out my next blog entry as I share Habit #2.

How to make your New Years Resolutions stick

Many of us who are looking forward to the future have made New Years resolutions.

You know those grand plans that we come up with, that if we follow-through, will make our life more fulfilling. Unfortunately, they are also the same plans that are usually forgotten by the 3rd week of January. If you don’t believe this just check the classifieds in February for used exercise equipment.

 

Common resolutions like “Quit Smoking, Lose Weight or Save Money,” may sound great, but they aren’t very successful. Using the following 7 steps will help you design more powerful New Years resolutions.

 

1. Develop S.M.A.R.T. Resolutions

Specific: You must specifically and clearly identify your target because you need to know what success looks like.

Measurable: Clear destinations and checkpoints along the way provide stepping-stones,  that are easily attained and provide victories that keep you motivated.

Action Oriented: Effective resolutions require action, they are doing resolutions, not being or having resolutions.

Realistic: You design resolutions to solve a problem or to achieve a dream. They should stretch you outside of your comfort zones, but if you make them completely out of reach, you are only setting yourself up for failure.

Timely: They need to be important to you at this time in your life, if it is not, you will not do the work necessary to succeed.   

 

2. Identify what’s in it for you: If you are going to follow through with your resolution you need to be excited about the benefits it will bring. Visualizing yourself fitting into those jeans that “shrunk” or driving that new car are powerful motivators.

 

3. List the obstacles that stand in your way: Knowing what the obstacles are can help you determine how to get around them.

 

 4. Consider who can help you: You need to carefully identify friends whom you can trust to share your goals with and who can check your progress and encourage you. These people enable you to maintain your focus and keep your eyes on the goal itself.

 

5. Consider what resources are needed: Knowing what tools and knowledge you’ll need to help you accomplish your goal will increase your chances of success.

 

6. Develop an Action Plan: There is something so powerful about putting your resolutions down on paper, but this is the step where most people fail. I think Denver Broncos football coach Mike Shanahan put it best when he said, “If you have a plan, and if you have your direction laid out. You can chart your progress to your dreams at each stopping point along the way. And just as important, all along the way you can see how far you’ve come”. Developing your action plan will give you the road map to your dreams.

 

     7. Set a deadline for achievement: Resolutions without deadlines are only dreams. Deadlines are another powerful motivator. Also when you are setting deadlines add the phrase “on or before” ie. “I will acquire 20 new clients on or before July 1, 2009”

 

So this year make those New Years Resolutions stick, and reap the benefits. Because the best way to predict your future, is to create it yourself.

We got lucky!!! Update on Mom’s condition after the stroke

First off thank you to everyone who expressed their love and kept my Mom in their prayers, in person, on the phone or online (on Facebook, through Email or on this blog) during this challenging time.

A week ago, my Mom suffered a stroke. (To read more about it check out my previous post titled: The High Cost of Waiting https://relmes.wordpress.com/2008/09/24/the-high-cost-of-waiting/

But we got lucky!!!

The reason I say “we” is because instead of wondering what might have been, we are wondering what is next, and instead of thinking what we could have done in the past to help her, we are thinking of how we can help her in the future and instead of planning a funeral, we are planning her rehabilitation.

As I mentioned in the last post, when the stroke hit, she recognized she was in trouble and she called for help and getting there saved her life.

But as she realizes now, her life in the future will be different.

She is lucky that the damage of the stroke appears to have effected her vision and her memory.

At this time she has lost her right side vision from one o’clock(if you think of looking straight being twelve o’clock) to the right everywhere except on the bottom. This may or may not improve over time.

Her memory has also been effected.

I describe it this way: If all of her memories were on sheets of paper, all categorized and files for easy and quick retreaval, the stroke messed up that filing system and scattered all of the sheets on the floor.

In the first days following the stroke, she had trouble recalling her last name, her telephone number and even the names of her family members. However, she has improved this by studying her “cheat sheets” in order to re-learn these important facts.

Her short term memory has also been effected, because I can have a conversation with her and a few minutes we can be talking about the same things.

A few of things that I have taken away from this learning process;

If you want to learn and anything is possible. Mom has told me many days she will find herself waking up at night and she will invest the time in studying. She view this as a challenge and I am confident that it will pay off. (I have witnessed her improving every day)

Forced learning doesn’t stick. Mom said that when she is trying really hard to remember something it doesn’t come to her, but when she is relaxed things come much easier. Although I give her credit that her frustration level has been incredibly low. I know if I were in her situation I would be incredibly frustrated.  Just think of how much you retained after cramming for exams in school.

Progress happens when it is enjoyable. Although it has been a tramatic experience for our whole family, I for one have thoroughly enjoyed the time that I have spent with Mom this week. We have laughed (Thank heavens she still has her sense of humour), and we have hugged (she instituted a new family rule that we have to hug each other everytime we see each other) and we have just appreciated the time together.

I know that in my training or coaching sessions I often use laughter as a way to open up the doors of learning, in order to help make the message stick.

As of the time of this post, my Mom is still in the Stroke wing at Grand River Hospital http://www.grandriverhospital.on.ca/ and will probably be there until at least Friday. Then hopefully she will be able to go home, where she will face a whole new set of challenges.

But if I know my Mom, she will continue to face those challenges with the same sense of adventure and humility that she has demonstrated to me this week.

I will keep you posted on her progress. But in the meantime, keep those prayers coming, because I am convinced they are the reason we are all lucky.