Patience is a Virtue… Especially when Christmas Shopping

To all those shoppers who are rushing out to the stores to finish their shopping, scrambling to find an empty parking spot and then fighting the crowds to pick up the perfect gift and then waiting in long checkout lines to make your purchases.

Here are some keys to getting through the week-before Christmas shopping experience alive and with your dignity intact.

Preperation: Spend sometime before hand making a wish list of gifts you are looking for. If you go into the mall without a list, waiting for inspiration to hit you… it may never come. And you and the recipient of the gift may be disappointed.

Parking: Immediately, drive to the far reaches of the parking lot, park your car and walk. In many cases this will actually save you time and frustration. Instead of the endless driving that many shoppers do in trying to find the empty spot up close.

Patience: “Patience is something you admire in the drive behind you, but not in the one ahead.” -Bill McGlashen

Remember that most of the people at the Mall this week will be in the same boat. They are feeling the stress and frustration levels are heightened. This has been the cause of many embarrasing disputes between total strangers.

Politeness: You have the ability to affect the store clerks and your fellow shoppers in a positive way by remaining polite and courteous. That attitude and behaviour can help make it a better experience for all.

Happy Holidays

The 7+ Habits of Highly Effective Husbands – Habit #10: Think T.I.M.S. before buying her a gift

Although giving your wife a gift is a great way to show your love, especially if it’s in her favourite currency, if you’re not careful it can still blow up in your face.

Like the time when we were dating I gave my wife April a beautiful red lace rose, not knowing that when you took the plastic off, the head of the rose was really a little pair (and I mean little) of skimpy underwear.

That wouldn’t have been so bad, except that I gave it to her at her birthday party… at my parents’ house.

And that summer when she started talking to me again… (her birthday is in December), she suggested that I needed help.

 And that is when I decided to study and learn the science behind effective gift giving.

A science that has been a mystery to husbands (and sales reps) for years… until now!

 What I discovered were thes 4 elements of effective gift giving that I call the T.I.M.S. factor.

The 1st element it Timing:

A gift that is a surprise is more powerful that one she expects.

You still need to give her a gift on special occassions, like Christmas, her Birthday or your Anniversary, but you may find that she will be just as delighted if you bring her flowers after work on Friday.

But, don’t do it every Friday… because then she’ll expect it which will not only make it less powerful, but if you forget one week she will be disappointed. This is certainly not the emotion you want to generate.

 The 2nd element is your Investment:

And by investment, I don’t just mean the money you spend but also the time and effort you take in thinking about, finding and picking out just the right gift for her.

The more time and effort you invest, the more powerful the gift will be.

Trust me, women know which gifts are bought on December 24th.

 The 3rd element is your Motive:

My research shows that there are 4 different types of gifts.

The “Just because I love you (or was thinking about you)” gift, which is the most powerful.

The “Thank you” gift, which is the next most powerful.

The “Negotiation” gift, which is less powerful, because if you receive something in return it is not really a gift.

And the “Please don’t make me sleep on the couch again tonight, honey” or the “suck-up” gift, which is abviously the least powerful.

 The 4th element of the T.I.M.S. model of effective gift giving is the Sensation that she feels when she gets your gift.

If your gift leaves her happy… you’re golden.

If you have to go out and buy her a “Please don’t make me sleep on the couch again tonight, honey” gift to make up for your original one… not so much.

So remember Habit #10 and think T.I.M.S. before buying her a gift.

Next time, in Habit #11 we will explore how to learn from hundreds of years of wisdom in order improve your marriage.

The 7+ Habits of Highly Effective Husbands – Habit #5: Use the Right Currencies

There are many different ways that you can show your wife that you love her.

In his book “The Five Love Languages” ( a book that I think should be required reading for any couple) http://www.fivelovelanguages.com author Dr. Gary Chapman describes 5 different currencies (or ways) people give and receive love.

They are:

Words of Affirmation, telling her how much you appreciate her

Acts of Service, doing things to help her out.

Spending Quality Time together as a couple.

Physical Touch and not just in the bedroom.

And Giving and Receiving Gifts. (More about this in Habit #10)

We naturally tend to show love in the ways that we best receive it.

But we all know that Men and Women are different.

And many husbands have been frustrated because they feel that they’re showing their wife that they love them (by making a lot of “deposits” in their love account) but their wife only feel a fraction of it because they are not using the right currency. For instance, he buys her gifts when she would rather they spend more quality time together.

The key is to discover which currencies your wife finds the most valuable and show love to her in those ways. (To discover your favorite currency or Love Language take Dr. Chapman’s 30 second assessment: http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html#love )

So remember Habit #5 and Use the Right Currencies.

Check back next time to discover how to avoid making matters worse when your spouse is telling you about a problem that is frustrating her. That’s Habit #6, which you will discover next time.

The Science of Giving Gifts

 The following tip is from my Guide titled: The 7+ Habits of Highly Effective Husbands.  When you read it think how this psychology may come into play when you are giving gifts to your customers.

The Science of Giving Gifts 

Giving your wife a gift is a great way to show your love, but if you are not careful it can blow up in your face.

Like the time when we were dating I gave my wife April a beautiful red lace rose, not knowing that when you took the plastic off, the head of the rose was really a little pair (and I mean little) of skimpy underwear.

That wouldn’t have been so bad, except that I gave it to her at her birthday party… at my parents’ house.

And that summer when she started talking to me again… (her birthday is in December), she suggested that I needed help.

 

And that is when I decided to study and learn the science behind effective gift giving.

A science that has been a mystery to husbands (and sales reps) for years… until now!

 

What I discovered were thes 4 elements of effective gift giving that I call the T.I.M.S. factor.

 

The 1st element it Timing:

A gift that is a surprise is more powerful that one she expects.

You still need to give her a gift on special occassions, like Christmas, her Birthday or your Anniversary, but you may find that she will be just as delighted if you bring her flowers after work on Friday.

But, don’t do it every Friday… because then she’ll expect it which will not only make it less powerful, but if you forget one week she will be disappointed. This is certainly not the emotion you want to generate.

 

The 2nd element is your Investment:

And by investment, I don’t just mean the money you spend but also the time and effort you take in thinking about, finding and picking out just the right gift for her.

The more time and effort you invest, the more powerful the gift will be.

Trust me, women know which gifts are bought on December 24th.

 

The 3rd element is your Motive:

My research shows that there are 4 different types of gifts.

The “Just because I love you (or was thinking about you)” gift, which is the most powerful.

The “Thank you” gift, which is the next most powerful.

The “Negotiation” gift, which is less powerful, because if you receive something in return it is not really a gift.

And the “Please don’t make me sleep on the couch again tonight, honey” or the “suck-up” gift, which is abviously the least powerful.

 

The 4th element of the T.I.M.S. model of effective gift giving is the Sensation that she feels when she gets your gift.

If your gift leaves her happy… you’re golden.

If you have to go out and buy her a “Please don’t make me sleep on the couch again tonight, honey” gift to make up for your original one… not so much.

So remember the Science of Gift Giving and think T.I.M.S. before buying her a gift.