How to treat children and employees

Children-Dreaming

“Treat a child as though he already is the person he’s capable of becoming.” Haim Ginott, School Teacher, Child Psychologist, Psychotherapist and Parent Educator

Also great advice for Leaders on how to treat the folks they are leading.

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Fred’s Adventure

Sometimes things don’t appear as they really are…..

A friend of mine moved, into a new apartment, after living in the same house for 18 years. If you have ever moved can empathize with me when I say that, this can be a pretty traumatic experience for anyone, but it was especially traumatic for, her companion, an 8 year old little house cat, named “Fred”.

You see Fred grew up in that house, in fact it was the only home he ever knew. So you couldn’t really call him a “worldly” cat.

And you couldn’t blame Fred when he became a little concerned when he noticed all of his family’s things were slowly disappearing and being replaced by boxes. Now Fred got even more concerned, when they carried him into the car for a drive, because that usually meant a trip to the vet.

But it wasn’t until his owner carried him into the lobby of their new apartment building that the real trouble started.

You see, the walls on the lobby were covered with mirrors, and Fred being a naïve little cat, who had very little exposure to other cats, and who was also used to being the king of his household, looked into the mirrored walls, saw another cat.

Well immediately his instincts took over, and he went into attack mode.

He dug his claws into his owner, who felt the searing pain and who dropped him and then Fred proceeded to attack the first cat he saw, who to his surprise was attacking him back with equal show of force.

attack cat

Well Fred, who was not experienced in the art of cat fighting, decided that retreat would be his best course of action.

But when he turned to run what do you think he saw? You guessed it another attacking cat. Well this went back and forth, back and forth for several minutes until Fred decided to run down the hall and let his owner catch him up and help him out of the situation…

Now you may think that this is just a story about a crazy cat, but it more than just that.

Poor Fred is not that much different than you or me……….

When we are put into situations that are foreign to us, situations that take us out of our comfort zones, like Fred’s house, it is easy to be overcome by our fear of the unknown, just like Fred did.

And it is at those times when our minds like to play games with us and turn a normally safe situation into one that we believe is dangerous.

It has been said that the word fear is really an acronym, which stands for False Evidence Appearing Real and wasn’t that the case with Fred in that lobby.

In reality, there was no danger at all, but in Fred’s mind, the pain of being attacked by other cats everywhere he turned, certainly looked and felt real. And that shows that awesome power that our mind has, to deceive and embellish situations in order to validate our fears.

but I’m sure to Fred the Fear meant, Forget Evidence And Run.

Now what would have happened if Fred took another approach to that very same situation and viewed the changes in his life as an adventure?

He would have discovered the joy of playing on boxes, the excitement of riding in a car and possibly the friendship of another cat that was always there to greet him, every time he walks through that lobby.

You see when we experience life and its many changes, we step outside of our comfort zones and we expand,  just like a balloon that is filled with air.

And the result is that once we expand ourselves, our comfort zones never quite go back to the same size as it was before the experience. And we have the capacity to do more, be more and enjoy more of the wonderful experiences life has to offer.

So next time you are in a similar situation, feel the fear, and push through the pain, because as Dolly Parton put it, “If you want to see the rainbow, you have to put up with a little rain.”

#fear, #falseevidenceappearingreal, #perspective, #cats, #scary, #scared, #dollyparton, #lifelessons, #overcomingfear #pushthroughthepain #fredsperspective

 

 

 

Motivational Quote: Future Vision

future-vision“If you cannot see and do not believe it will not be.” Jamie Pritchard, Facilitator, Magnetic Lighthouse podcast, Spiritual Coach

What Amazing Bosses Do Differently

Worlds Best Boss

This blog post was from the Harvard Business Review and written by Sydney Finkelstein author of Superbosses: How Exceptional Leaders Manage the Flow of Talent where he talks about 5 things Amazing Bosses do differently.

We all know that job satisfaction often hinges on the quality of the relationships we have with our bosses. Yet in today’s rapidly evolving, 24/7 workplaces, it’s not always clear what managers should do to create the most satisfying work experiences and the happiest employees. My research into the world’s most successful bosses has unearthed some common practices that make work much more meaningful and enjoyable. If you supervise others, make sure you do the following:

Manage individuals, not teams. When you’re under pressure, it’s easy to forget that employees are unique individuals, with varying interests, abilities, goals, and styles of learning. But it’s important to customize your interactions with them. Ensure you understand what makes them tick. Be available and accessible for one-on-one conversations. Deliver lessons cued to individual developmental needs. And when it comes to promotion, look past rigid competency models and career ladders for growth opportunities tailored to the ambitions, talents, and capacities of each person.

Dr. Paul Batalden, a professor emeritus at Dartmouth College’s Geisel School of Medicine, who previously worked under Tommy Frist at healthcare giant HCA, told me that his former boss was “such an unusual CEO” of a company that size. “You could always get to see him. He always had time.”  Samuel Howard, another Frist protégé who is now CEO of Xantus Corp, added, “when you asked him to do something, he would roll up his sleeves” and work with you to get it done.

Go big on meaning.  Most employees value jobs that let them contribute and make a difference, and many organizations now emphasize meaning and purpose in the hopes of fostering engagement. But this is also the manager’s responsibility. You can’t rely on incentives like bonuses, stock options, or raises. You’ve got to inspire them with a vision, set challenging goals and pump up their confidence so they believe they can actually win. Articulate a clear purpose that fires your team up, set expectations high, and convey to the group that you think they’re capable of virtually anything.

Legendary bosses like Bill Sanders in real estate, Julian Robertson in hedge funds, and Bill Walsh in professional football all communicated visions that entranced employees and left them hell-bent on success. Scot Sellers, a protégé of Sanders who went on to become CEO of Archstone before retiring in 2013, recalled that his former boss “would lay out his vision and say, ‘I would like you to be a part of it.’ You were so honored to be asked… that you just wanted to jump in and say, ‘Sign me up!’”

To read the other 3 things that Amazing Bosses do differently click here:


 

Sydney Finkelstein is the Steven Roth Professor of Management in Dartmouth’s Tuck School of Business and the author of Superbosses: How Exceptional Leaders Manage the Flow of Talent (Portfolio/Penguin, February 2016) from which this article was adapted.

Motivational Quote: Influencing Others

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“To influence, you need to first meet people where they are, before you can guide them where you want them to go.” – Richard Elmes

Motivational Quote: Successful Hire

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“You have the greatest success when you hire the right person – the one with the right character.” – Rob MacLeod, Master Sailor, Speaker, Trainer and Author of  the book From Landfalls to Legacies”

How to ethically tip the scales in your favor: Science of Persuasion

Looking for ethical ways to tip the scales in your favor. Whether you are selling a product, presenting an idea, or asking for a date, these six principles can help. It is definitely worth watching.

This animated video describes the six universal Principles of Persuasion that have been scientifically proven to make you most effective based on the research in Dr. Cialdini’s groundbreaking book, Influence. This video is narrated by Dr. Robert Cialdini and Steve Martin, CMCT.