The Upside to Dating a Salesman

The following blog post written by Dating Goddess http://www.datinggoddess.com/ on June 24, 2009  talks about why she loves dating men with a sales background.

Does he know how to close? by Dating Goddess  June 24, 2009

I love dating men with a sales background.

Why?

Because they know how to close. How to ask for the order. How to pursue. How to keep clients happy.

“Close” in dating means to ask for your email address, phone number or date. I’ve found a lot of men don’t know how to advance the relationship. Some are way too timid, taking weeks to ask for my number. Some are way too forward, asking for my number after one email exchange.

I understand many men don’t like to exchange a lot of emails. They are either poor typists or poor spellers and feel it takes too long time to say what would take seconds on the phone. But I like to have a few email exchanges to get a sense of a man’s ability to communicate clearly in writing and that he doesn’t get sexual too soon.

Some men seem happy to have a pen pal relationship, stretching the emails out over weeks. This gets wearisome, too. Some men think it gentlemanly to wait until the woman is comfortable enough to offer her number. Other men offer theirs first, knowing some women are not comfortable giving out her number. I prefer a man call me as it shows he has enough interest to pick up the phone. Giving me his number puts the onus on me.

Some women have no problem assertively asking, “When shall we get together?” I don’t like to ask that as I feel a man needs to be assertive enough to ask for the “order” — a date. I don’t want to be the one initiating, at least not at first. I don’t mind initiating once we’ve gone out a few times.

In writing my book on sales, I discovered a common complaint from customers was salespeople who never asked for the order. Salespeople could have an hour-long meeting with the prospect uncovering their needs and constraints, then just thank the prospect at the end, without ever asking for the order. The prospect didn’t feel it was their job to say, “It sounds like you have exactly what I need. How can I order?” They wanted the salesperson to ask for the business.

This is true in dating. If a woman has to prod a man to “ask for the order,” he’s probably not that interested or confident enough.

Salesmen also understand that if they want to secure the “account” (you) they have to make some effort to earn the “business” (your affection). They know they can’t ignore a customer and expect to be received with open arms when they next connect. The customer may have found another supplier (man) to give them what they want. Good salesmen know if you want to keep a customer, you have to give them some attention.

These are basics that every salesperson knows. It would seem common sense, but to those outside of sales it doesn’t appear to be common knowledge — or at least common practice.

The downside of dating salesmen is sometimes they are focused on putting up the numbers — closing the initial deal. If they are used to one-time sales, not ongoing orders, they don’t fully understand the importance of “customer maintenance” — keeping you engaged beyond the initial conquest.

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Another example of how Dating strategies and Sales strategies mirror each other.

The 7+ Habits of Highly Effective Husbands: Habit #3: Think WE before ME

To explain theis point I need to talk about another one of my great loves… hockey.

I remember one particular game when a powerful Jr. A team from a neighbouring city http://www.kitchenerrangers.com  was losing to our city’s young inexperienced team. http://www.guelphstorm.com

Then, with the game still in reach, their new star player (Steve Downie http://lightning.nhl.com/team/app?page=PlayerDetail&playerId=8471703&service=page) jumped one of our players (Mike MacLean http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php?pid=76851)from behind for what seemed like no reason at all, knocking him to the ground, and beat the tar out of him. To make matters worse, after being pulled off by the refs, he proceeded to kick his helmet against the boards, knock over a rack of hockey sticks, and toss a case of water bottles onto the ice. (Check out the whole thing on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQ4RkHbMeqk&feature=PlayList&p=ECEEA090F95A695E&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=50) Not only did he embarass himself, but he left his team short-handed. Our team went on to win 5-0.

It has been said that selfishness is the root of all evil.

Well, Mr. Downie, received an 8-game suspension for his selfish act that night. And isn’t it interesting that while he was suspended his team started winning again.

In short, when players focus on themselves, they lose. But when they focus on the team, they win.

The same lesson applies in marriage.  I know when I make major decisions focusing only on me, I get in trouble. But when I focus on the two of us, on WE, things work out better.

Because great teams are just that… teams.

So if you want to win remember Habit #3 and Think WE before Me.

Check back next time to learn what Habit #4 is.